Bells are ringing….

…and all around the country, colleges are gearing up for adults returning to school. Nothing terribly new about that, except that now, colleges are preparing for the older adult returning to school. Whether to reinvent themselves and pursue the passion or dream deferred – art, poetry, carpentry, etc. – or to simply survive by getting new marketable skills as retirement expenses mount up far beyond what was anticipated, older adults are expected to significantly increase their numbers in colleges. Some schools have gone so far as to create "older adult colleges."

Whatever the reasons for returning, facing college for the first time, or the first time in a long time, can be a daunting and intimidating experience. If you're getting to higher education as an adult, here's a few survival tips to remember as you begin.

Start slow. Experts suggest that you begin with classes you enjoy, or with a low homework load. School is demanding both mentally and physically. If you're unaccustomed to the exertion, you'll want to give yourself time to adjust. Don't over-commit yourself and end up struggling from the very beginning.

Give yourself good rest. You may not feel it the first day or two, but classes and studying will take their toll. Be sure that you take time to rest and recharge. Remember that it's a marathon, not a sprint.

Ask questions. No matter how shy you may have been before today, ask every question that comes to mind from today onward. Even if you've heard it before, it bears repeating: there's no such thing as stupid questions. Professors love questions; questions confirm that at least someone in the class is awake and listening. When I returned to school, it was assumed that I knew what I needed to know. Fortunately, I was comfortable with the web and the information I needed was there. But sometimes no matter how hard you look, you simply can't find what you need. Ask. Always ask. Ask a fellow student, a professor, an administrator, a student counselor, ask. Schools are vast bureaucracies, and some mistakes can have serious impacts.

Know your instructors. Learn about the instructors who teach your important subjects or classes. Read their biographies or resumes if available. Google them. Check out their college web page. Ask fellow students. Introduce yourself. You don't have to make a big deal about it, but always try to make a point of meeting your instructors. Don't simply be a face in the crowd; you'll enhance your learning experience and probably increase your grade a little too. If you have family or work obligations that might interfere with your attendance, be sure to take the time to mention it to your professor. He or she will appreciate the warning and may be a little more sensitive to your needs.

Shake a lot of hands. There's something about the shared experience of school that creates unique bonds. Despite their youth, many of my study partners from law school, with whom I shared many a hot, torpid, airless study room in the library, are still friends ten years later. Don't be too freaked out by the difference in age. Most of my colleagues in law school were young enough to be my kids – my youngest kids. I was one of the oldest in my class. Interestingly, I was given no credit or debit for my age. The first time I felt a part of the crowd, so to speak, was after being particularly lucky and brilliant in class early in the first semester. After demonstrating my legal prowess, I was accepted. Ultimately, though my age wasn't unnoticed or ignored (it made for too many good jokes), it wasn't important. I tested my intellect and skills against the brightest and best of the generation, and came out looking pretty decent. Once I stopped comparing myself to them (a comparison unfair to both them and me), I found most of my school mates to be frighteningly smart, committed and way more cool than I was at their age. That was good for me.

Don't expect perfection. You probably haven't pulled an all-nighter in a long time. So maybe your first grade or two, or three, aren't as good as you expected. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you start feeling bad about your educational experience right from the start, you'll find it a difficult and unsatisfying journey. First, remember that you're out of practice. Remember too that if you're really challenging yourself, you won't get easy grades. As Mario Andretti the famous race car driver said: "If everything seems under control, you're just not going fast enough." Give yourself a break. Let yourself enjoy the experience. There's no mom or dad waiting at home to ground you for not getting an "A."

You will succeed, but remember that no matter what your grades are, you are there for the knowledge not the grades. If you are getting the knowledge, but not the grades, don't beat yourself up. If you're getting the grades but not the knowledge, you're just wasting your time. It's not about the grades. After you graduate, few people will actually ask you about your grades – mostly potential employers and rude people. Everyone will want to see that you learned something.

Keep going. I said it before, I'll say it again. Getting a degree is a marathon, not a sprint. That means there will be days when you feel like chucking the whole thing. When you wonder what you were thinking when you decided to get a degree at your age. When you look at your homework and realize that you don't understand it and you're going to get a terrible grade. When you're so tired from getting kicked at the office you just don't have one more ounce of energy for a classroom. Keep going. When I was pulling all night pre-final cram sessions, and again as I voraciously crammed before the bar exam, I kept telling myself "you only have to do this once, keep going." For me, it meant narrowing my field of vision until it contained only school. Not socializing. Not vacations. Just school. I told myself it was only three years. In three years, I'd be three years older no matter what I did. Would I be older with a doctorate? Damn right.

Even if you're trying to get to the end of the week or semester, tell yourself you only walk this way once. You won't get a chance here again whether you want it or not. You only walk here once. Keep going. If you're pursuing a degree, there is no almost. Either you do what is necessary or you don't get it. "Do, or do not. There is no 'try'." Says Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back.

So keep going. Ask for help when you need it. Don't be shy. Most of life isn't designed for you to attempt it all on your own. The universe has put assistance all along the way if you just seek it out. But above all else, keep going. It's a dramatic statement, but Winston Churchill put it well when he said "Never give in - never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense."

So that's it -- six simple strategies that will make your introduction to adult education survivable and even enjoyable. One more important resource to consider is your coach. Balancing the demands of education, home, work, family, and self is challenging in the best of circumstances. For most of us, it's downright hard. Your coach can help you envision new solutions and approaches to old problems. Your coach can help you identify necessary detours and re-routes, and prevent you from wasting time on things you cannot impact. Whether you go it alone, or supercharge your progress with a coach, you have the power to make the journey and win the prize. With focus and persistence, you cannot fail.  Check out my web site at manifestationcoaching.com for more information.

Take Care of Yourself...

Ah ... at last the weekend is here.  Time to catch up on all those chores you don't have time for during the week, right?  Maybe, but don't forget to take time for yourself too.  And I don't just mean sleeping late (though that's one of my favorite weekend vices), I mean actually getting some rest ... proper mind-nurturing rest.  Tel Asiado talks about the three key components to recharging yourself:  rest, sleep, relax.  Note that resting and relaxing are different in his mind.  How would they differ for you?

We all know that good sleep is important, but how many of us can say we get it?  Stealth Health has 24 ways to get better sleep.  For more about good sleep, check our the Sleep Foundation.

How many of us curl up with a good book and a snack, only to find ourselves well-read and overweight?  Relaxing and snacking for many of us (me, for example) are inextricable.  But it doesn't have to be that way.  Geneen Roth talks about how to enjoy your downtime without turning to food.

The spiritually minded say God rested on the 7th day to show us how important rest is. Chaplain Campbell says we were created for rest, and that it allows us to "recreate" our energy and creativity.  And whether you're spiritual or not, it's hard to disagree with Jewish rabbis who say that God rested on the sabbath to teach us that "work is not an end in and of itself."

Summer is ending, school is starting, and the holidays will be on us before we know it.  Be sure to take time for yourself.  Renergize, reflect.  You'll benefit and so will those who depend on you.

It's the Little Things...

Just like in the fractal universe, life's most important lessons can come from little tiny things because the big things work the same way. 

Sometimes when we start looking to teach self-empowerment, and reality creation, and demanding success, etc., we go for the big examples.  Life changing examples.  Dramatic examples.  They make good reading, but unfortunately, most readers don't identify with them.  For most of us, life is not that dramatic.  For most of us, life is a series of banal but important decisions, each of which stacks up on the next to create our daily reality.  There is no major event on which to hang our changed life.  Instead, we usually change our lives by making small daily decisions differently.  But that means we are experts in change creation, we just get intimidated when the desired change is perceived as "big."  But it's all the same.

Example.  I've been hating my new cell phone.  I had to get a particular model to be compatible at work; it was the only one at the time.  I didn't like the phone.  It froze up, constantly needed to be reset, made pocket calls, etc.  I wanted to replace it with the latest model which is greatly improved but I couldn't get the cell phone company discount for another 15 months.  And they wouldn't refund my old phone because I'd had it too long.  So, I was almost resolved to simply put up with the annoyance and inconvenience and wait until next year to upgrade.

Then, I read my own stuff.  I refused to accept my surrender as the only option.  I wasn't sure what the other options were, but I demanded that there be other options.  Once I left room in my head for achieving my objective some other way, I found that way -- eBay.  I got the exact phone I wanted, used but in pristine condition, for less than the cheapest cell phone company price, even discounted.  Once I'm sure I like this phone, I'll sell my old one, and the total replacement cost will be even less.

Seems simple, doesn't it.  But look deep into the fractal, and what do you see?  Before you can even consider other options, you first have to demand that they exist.  Before you can do that, you have to want options, you have to refuse to accept the status quo.  Trust me, it's a huge long-shot that you'll see other options without demanding them and looking for them.

Now, the thing about fractals is that they are in micro exactly as they are in macro.  Life is like that, both figuratively and literally.  If this technique can work for this little thing, it can work for your big thing.  You can use the micro as a pattern for the macro.  Moving a pebble is easier than moving a boulder, but you employ the same basic methods.  Practice on the small for power over the big.

We Owe Them

More bad news on the work front. Though not as bad as it could be, for which we should be thankful I guess.  As this Labor Day holiday approaches, it seems appropriate to think about work and how it affects our lives.  And about who has work and who doesn't.

Despite being the most productive work force in the world, there are still a substantial number of workers or retired workers who fall into poverty every year.  As Donna McDaniel points out, almost 10% of social security dependent retirees fall below the national poverty line.  Is that the future of today's worker?

There are ways to cope with this rampant skills inflation and wage deflation.  You have to stay competitive.  You have to keep your skills honed.  You have to find your competitive advantage.

Sherrie Gong Taguchi has ten tips for giving a great interview.  Dave Willmer writing to IT professionals has something to say to all of us when he reminds us not to neglect the so-called "soft" skills such as leadership, or public speaking.  Marla Gottschalk has tips about keeping the job you have, and if that fails, finding a new one.

Most important though, is to not forget where Labor Day came from, and the people whose sacrifices made it possible.  You may not know that the September holiday was created to divert attention from labor activists and the Haymarket Massacre because activists had been identified as "socialists" due to their anti-capitalist anti-robber baron and labor organizing activities.  Recall that back then, organized labor was equated with anti-Americanism.

So before you light up the barbeque, think for a minute about the thousands of workers who dedicated their lives, and sometimes gave up their lives, so that you could have a weekend every week, and so that you can go home after 8 or so hours of work per day.  Much of what was won for workers by labor activists has finally been embodied into law in most states, so today we tend to think of unions and labor activists as anachronisms or only for the lowest class immigrant laborer. 

Around the world, labor activists die daily.  Google "labor leader killed" and you get 814,000 entries from countries all around the world.  So while the labor struggle may have gotten quieter and more polite in the US, it's still a deadly serious struggle around the rest of the world.

When you hoist those margaritas, hoist them once in a toast to those brave labor leaders to whom we owe so much.

What Did You Do Right Today?

What did you do right today? Don't think. Just answer. I'll bet you can't. Not without thinking about it. Like most people, you're preoccupied with getting the kids dressed, feeding all the animals including the dear domestic other, getting yourself cleaned and dressed, getting to work on time (especially because they left you with an empty gas tank), getting the bills paid, running, running, running, running.

We live most of our lives set to "next." The next task, the next appointment, the next bill, the next meeting, the next class, and on and on.

Occasionally, we need to dial back to "now." Pull the car over from this grand road trip. Get out, stretch your legs. Put your hands on your hips, lean back and take a deep breath. Get a load of that scenery! Take it all in. Get a 180. Look all around you. Look back where you came from; check out what's on either side of you. Shade your eyes, squint, and see how far ahead you can see right from where you're standing.

Now check out the car. Walk around it. Kick the tires, check the tread.

Now that I've belabored the analogy, I think you get my meaning. No matter how sure you are of where you're going, don't forget to take a break and just get a feel for now. Does the course you're on feel right no matter what the map says? How do you feel physically? Have you noted how much progress you've made?

No matter how confident we are in our ultimate success, and no matter how much we tell ourselves that the journey is as important as the destination, we want to see success. The spirit can live on hope alone. The flesh needs to occasionally see results and progress.

It's a waste of time (not to mention discouraging!) to focus only on what task you didn't get done, or what chore is still on your list. Right now, we're looking at now.

So for just this moment, instead of looking at where your light didn't shine today, ask where did it shine? What did you do right today? This is no new age feel-good theory. It's common sense. You can't do more of what's right if you don't know what right looks like to begin with.

Once you start looking to see where your light shined today (and everyday), you will discover a whole side of yourself you never knew about. But that's another subject for a future post.

What do you think?  Click on Comments below to share your thoughts.