Half Full or … ?

Pundits are buzzing about a recent study that shows federal employee salaries ahead of private sector wages.  Count on the pundits using that difference to say government workers are overpaid.  You will listen in vain for anyone to conclude that the study means private industry paychecks have fallen too far behind and that private sector employees are underpaid – except maybe here!

First, when you look at the list of jobs in the study, you’ll find that a large portion of the jobs are unionized jobs in the government – the last bastion of traditional unions.  Almost none of them are unionized in the private sector in any significant numbers.  From this we could conclude that the study emphasizes the benefits of belonging to a union expressed in actual differences in earnings over time.

Or, given that we’re told that the top 1% of this country now controls more of its wealth than ever before in history (close to 50% some say), you could conclude that the study further illustrates the upward migration of America’s wealth to the uber-rich.  You could conclude that the study indicates that in those most volatile labor markets – the private sector – real wages have declined to rock bottom levels compared to their CPI-indexed colleagues in government.

But, no, that will not even be discussed.  I guarantee that you will hear the hannitys shrilly complaining that they are being robbed by that overpaid DMV clerk.  Meanwhile, political appointees and highly placed executives at the top of government make six-figure salaries while in government, and enormous fortunes when they revolving-door into lobbying their old agency.

Speaking of overpaying, if we’re really serious about recovering monies overpaid, leave the little piker employees alone and go after Wall Street where reports say we overpaid by about $78 billion for bailouts.  Yeah – that’s 78 Billion with a very big “B.”

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

Elementary My Dear…

Got a Sherlock Holmes fantasy?  Or are you outranged at the bubble economies excesses and looking for the responsible people?

Either way, AlterNet is launching an unusual experiment in social networking - investigating the “bubble barons” who “destroyed our economy.”

If you join the investigation, you’ll get your very own bubble baron to check out and gather all the information available in the infosphere about the baron.  The giant corporations run by these barons know all about you – maybe its time to turn the tables?

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

Sign of the Times

You know you’re seeing something important when the unemployed of this nation begin to band together and speak with one voice.  First, the fact that there’s enough to “band together” means there’s a lot of unemployed Americans!

But now comes a union just for the unemployed.  It apparently started just recently, but already has hundreds of members across the country.  The Union of the Unemployed is open to all.  There are other “freelance unions” out there, but they are mostly for access to benefits and services.  Even when they advocate, they don’t speak for the huge number of unemployed.

As a union guy, I should be happy about the formation of a union of unemployed.  But deep in the pit of my stomach, this feels like the beginning of political stratification by income not principle.  A workers’ party, in other words.

During our last depression, we had troubles with workers’ parties.  They all began with the best of intent, and ended up subverted for other purposes.  We should learn from history.  We can’t wait until the ranks of the unemployed swell to numbers that threaten our democracy.  And believe me, if there’s enough unemployment, democracy is threatened.

So while I encourage people to band together for mutual protection, especially when their government has abandoned them to the wilds of the contemporary robber barons, I worry about the unintended consequences of the politics of the purse.  The solution is to get people to work, even with deficit swelling (for now) public projects, and not to bloat corporate coffers.

http://www.manifestationcoaching.com/

Reconnecting on Valentine’s Day

Valentine's Day is coming and everyone will be looking for that special something for their special someone. It's a big holiday for greeting card makers especially. “The U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide, making the day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year, behind Christmas.”

But where did the holiday came from? There are those who say that long before the establishment of Valentine's Day as we know it, the Romans practiced a pagan celebration in mid-February that commemorated a young man's rite of passage to the god Lupercus. Of course in those days you didn't send a valentine card to your lover. Instead, you raffled off teenage girls to the male participants. “The girl assigned to each young man in that manner would be his sexual companion during the remaining year.”

Now, what was good for the Romans certainly was not okay for the normal Christian. That's why the Pope had to do something about it. So, after hundreds of years, around 490 A.D., Pope Gelasius made a very small change to the holiday. His great idea was that the lottery would now draw the names of saints instead of beautiful young prepubescent girls. While the change may have upset some young Roman men, through the centuries the new Christian holiday has become the time to exchange love messages and celebrate St. Valentine as the patron saint of lovers. “Lovers' quarrels come under his jurisdiction and, naturally, he is the patron saint of engaged couples and of anyone wishing to marry.”

On this day of finding mates and special friends, we think most especially of absent friends.

For many of us, absent friends are apparently the norm. "We are isolated more than ever before." A 2006 study by the American Sociological Review says that the number of confidantes Americans feel comfortable discussing important matters with has shrunk by a third.  20% of the respondents in the survey said they had only one person they feel comfortable discussing important matters with. Worse, 25% of the study's respondents said they had no one to talk to and that's more than double the percentage of the people who felt that way 20 years ago. "The greatest drop in confidants occurred in non-familial relations. Or in other words, our friends."

Valentine’s Day, then, is a great time to consider reconnecting with old friends. Reconnecting has never been more popular, mostly because it's become so easy. With the growth of the Internet, and the now ubiquitous presence of computers, it was probably inevitable that at some point some type of social connection would happen. According to Sarah Radwanick, marketing communications analyst at COMscore, Inc., more than 127 million Americans visit social networking websites each and every month.

Of course there's no guarantee that the long-lost friend you call in the middle of the night after you’ve screwed up your courage will welcome your call. And even if you do establish a friendship, it may consist of just the occasional chat on the phone or an occasional status update on Facebook, or maybe seeing each other for coffee once in a while. And maybe that's all it's meant to be.

And not every reconnection will bring only happy memories. "I guess my point is, reconnecting with old friends has put me in somewhat of a melancholy mood, wondering what would've happened had our roads not parted when they did."

Some of us will find that as we look back into our past to seek those long-lost friends, we won't see any people. "I started to reach further back in my past, to my school days, and had to face the damning realization that my most fervent and treasured companions of those days were the books I read."

But for those brave enough to embrace this new world of technology, there are a wealth of resources available. Though there are many websites on the Internet dedicated to reconnecting people from all walks of life, one site in particular seems to be rising above all the rest. "Facebook has been adopted by such a broad audience, and it accomplishes what sites like reunion.com and classmates.com failed to do."

Once you've decided to brave the world of technology and you picked the old friend that you want to try and reconnect with, how do you know they want to talk to you? Mercedes Smith offers her suggestions for reconnecting with old friends. Among other things, she suggests that when you establish communication, begin slowly. She suggests sending a casual e-mail and then waiting to see if they respond, then try meeting for coffee. One thing she emphasizes is that once you've gotten the relationship back on track be sure to keep the lines of communication open. "Make yourself available when they ask for Saturday brunches or the weekend barbecue."

And lest you think maintaining close friendships is just for girls, Bret and Kate McKay are convinced that reconnecting and establishing friendships has a long and cherished tradition, and makes you a better man. They cite the manly tradition of Abraham Lincoln and his friendship with Joshua Speed, and especially the friendship between Thomas Jefferson and John Adams who though apart from each other for 14 years “kept their friendship alive by writing 158 letters to each other.”

Letter writing has a long tradition. And these days with Twitter and Facebook and e-mail and voicemail, writing an actual letter on actual paper with an actual pen and your actual hand may seem something of a throwback to the dark ages. But if you want to make someone feel special, there's no better way to do it than to send them a handwritten note on nice paper.
I know it sounds hokey. But I also know that there is no better way to guarantee a response than to send a carefully composed hand-written note on beautiful cotton bond paper, and in my opinion, written with a fountain pen.

No matter what your preference, whether it's by letter, or by phone, or even by e-mail, it’s time to contact that friend. You've waited long enough. You know that friend out there you've missed, and about whom you've wondered. How do you know that he or she hasn't been missing you too, hasn't been wondering what you've been doing and just hasn't gotten around to making that phone call or sending an e-mail to you?

It's Valentine's Day! Even if you have a special person in your life, after you've given that person candy and taken him or her out to dinner – spend an hour composing an e-mail or letter to long-lost friend whose life you will enrich by reconnecting. It will enrich your life too.

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

A Little Forethought…

The recent tragedy in Haiti underscores the necessity to be prepared for disaster whether you think you’re vulnerable or not.

Have a Family Plan. Experts agree that there are several very simple steps to prepare yourself and your family for any kind of disaster. First of all, have a family plan. Know where you're going to meet. Know who is to call whom.

This link will give you more information about all the steps involved in creating a family emergency plan for a variety of risks. Think seriously about doing it. There are tools to assist you in assessing your emergency needs here.  These are the type of things that only take value when you need them – and God willing you never do. Nevertheless, all the time invested in creating your family plan will be time well spent.


Backup your data. With more and more family information becoming digitized it's important to have a data backup plan, both on-site and off. These days with MP3 downloads and subscription music and digital cameras and digital video cameras, almost everything that is important to us now is digital. All the more reason to be absolutely sure that your data is safe. It's important obviously to have on-site backup; in case any of your machines should have any kind of hiccup you want ready access to your data so that important data isn’t lost.

But what happens in the case of a house fire or a flood? Your network drive holding backups of all your music and photos and most important documents – all could end up in the fire and just a big puddle of plastic. That's when off-site backup storage becomes critical. There are several vendors, who offer everything from low-cost limited to reasonably priced unlimited storage. Software for these vendors typically operate in the background over your internet connection, so they’re ideal for use with always-on broadband.  When your computer isn’t busy, the utility will keep your online storage areas synchronized with the data in your computer. This kind of off-site storage is doubly valuable should you lose your machine or should there be a disaster at your home.  Either way you're always protected.

I haven’t forgotten those who haven’t adopted the computer. And even if you scan all your documents for filing, some things must be retained in their original paper form. A strong fireproof safe is a given for all those important papers that you aren’t storing in your safe deposit box.
 

Safely store your precious items. I'm a collector. I have a lot of vintage fountain pens worth a fair amount.  In addition to the money value of the pens, the time that it took to find them and collect them at the right price is significant as well. In fact of all of my possessions I would say my fountain pen collection is one of the most valuable. Of course it's not the only thing. I have a number of possessions that have enormous emotional value as well. If you're the same way, ask yourself what happens when the police or fire department comes to your door and tells you that there is a mandatory evacuation order in place. What do you grab first? What can you carry? If you are asking yourself those questions for the first time when you receive an evacuation order you've waited way too long.

Think about what's most important to you and make a list. Know which items you would bring in an emergency and know in descending order of importance starting with the most important first.  If you're limited to just a few things, you know which few things are absolutely the most important. Additionally it makes good sense to store those things nearby each other if possible. That way you don't spend a lot of time gathering them all up in the instance of an emergency.

My pens are stored all in the same place, mostly binders and small portable cabinets.  If necessary, I can get all of them and my little dog at the same time.

Make movies. Any insurance company will tell you that the best way to document your possessions is to take photographs and videos.  These days the best way is to make a video walk-through of your home.  Describe what you see, point the camera and make close-ups.  Pay special attention to panels that show serial numbers, model numbers, and other significant information.  The Insurance Information Institute (iii.org) offers free online home inventory software.  The “Know Your Stuff” software is easy to use and allows you to record items by room, purchase price, date purchased, serial number information and allows you to upload photos.

Emergency supplies. We are constantly told that in the event of a serious emergency we should be prepared to be on our own for up to three days or more. Watching Haiti today, and New Orleans in the past, it should be clear to us that in the case of an unexpected emergency it will take time for authorities to reach us and bring assistance. In that time you need to be prepared to be on your own. You need to be prepared that your water supply will be compromised. You need to be prepared that looting will have emptied stores around you. That means if you're realistic about the situation, you need your own food and water to last you up to a week.
Various companies now offer nutritious, good tasting, packaged foods designed for campers, hikers, hunters, and those seeking long term storage in case of emergency.  If you don’t want to take the time to plan your food storage, eFoods Direct offers food packages by how long you need to support yourself, from one week to a year.

A more traditional retailer, Emergency Essentials offers food, recipes, storage supplies, and equipment.

Prep your home. Where you live will determine the most likely natural disaster for which you should be prepared. I live in Los Angeles, and therefore we always expect the " big one," the big earthquake. Preparing our home for earthquake safety meant being sure the home is bolted to its foundation, that anti-sheer walls are applied in the basement so the home won't wobble itself to death. It also means that we know where our gas main is so that we can turn it off in the event of an emergency.

If you live in a flood plain, then water will be your nemesis. You need to be sure that you know where water is likely to gather, knowing the topography of the land around it. Use a sensible everyday storage plan.  Don’t store your most precious items in the basement.

If anyone in your home is disabled or is physically or mentally challenged, your emergency needs will be even more specific and preparation more important.  Here are tips for dealing with all kinds of disabilities and emergencies.

Be prepared for anything, and nothing can defeat you.  In the end, you simply cannot predict what will happen in the future.  If you are fortunate, all your preparations will be unnecessary.  If you are less fortunate and disaster strikes, your preparation can assure that the only things lost are those most easily replaced.

http://www.manifestationcoaching.com/

Long-Term Couples

Long term couples face a myriad of challenges, not the least of which is a dearth of real information on long term couples.  As part of a couple for almost 30 years now, I know personally how the relationship can change and morph over the decades and various kinds of problems rear their ugly heads.  My partner Micheal (yes, another one) and I were in our early 20’s when we met.  As a friend recently pointed out to me, we actually grew up together.  Growing up is a messy business.

My mother and father were married even earlier, but their marriage lasted only 21 years.  They had difficulties and could not continue.

Over the last decade or so, research is surfacing about long term couples, and its kind of surprising.  One researcher debunks the myths that “arguing equals trouble,” and “opposites attract” among others.  He says that none of the myths apply if the couple can generate and maintain (or simply remember) positive emotions from their partner.  If you have a sufficient “bank account” of positive interactions as a couple, he says, you can weather almost any emotional storm. 

But if your relationship is made up of mostly negative emotions, you’re cruising toward separation, either emotionally or physically or both.  Seems self-evident, but over the course of a long term relationship, habits develop without us noticing.

One habit we tend toward is monogamy.  Traditionally, the reputation of same-sex couples is that they are not monogamous.  Some studies have shown that up to two-thirds of long term same-sex couples are not monogamous.  But for those couples, what does that mean?  There’s a lot of opposite-sex couples who aren’t monogamous either – we call that having an affair.

Well, two researchers have solicited and surveyed 86 long term non-monogamous same-sex couples about the impact of their non-monogamy.  The study seems to indicate that of those who participated, 75% described “solely positive impact.”  From my reading though, the primary positive impact is  that 78% said “being open [about outside sex] gave them a sexual outlet without having to lie…”  Personally, I think the study is skewed by self-selection of the participants but the results are interesting nonetheless.

John Gray, author of MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, says there are five traits of long-term loving couples, and the first is “communicate, communicate, communicate.”

In this cynical live-together world of romance today, you might be surprised that long-term couples are still getting married.  Yes, actually married, after years of unwedded bliss, Anna Carey reports.

If you are in a long term opposite-sex relationship, you can participate in important couples research by joining this study out of Stonybrook University.  Another couples study for couples of all genders comes out of Southern Methodist University.

Whatever your genders, if you’re in a long term couple, you know the challenges and rewards that come from it.  You can’t make problems just disappear, but you can create more of the cement that holds you together in the face of those problems.  As this new year approaches, let’s commit to creating more positive emotional experiences with our partners.  Let’s not rely on happenstance, let’s actually go out and create those experiences deliberately. 

Happy New Year!

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

Letter About Christmas

Normally, I detest chain emails.  Though I almost always am drawn to read them, I still find them an annoying waste of time.  But this email, below, is a little different.  It’s not complaining, and its not cynical.  I share it here in hopes that you and yours will have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, and any other holiday you celebrate!

Letter from Jesus about Christmas --

Dear Children,

It has  come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out  of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival. . .  although I do appreciate being remembered anytime.

How I personally  feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE  ANOTHER.

Now, having said that, let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on  your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8. 

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of  My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday   is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from   home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. Not just during Christmas time, but all through the year. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3.  Instead of writing the president complaining about the wording on the   cards his staff sends out this year, why don't you write and tell him that   you'll be praying for him and his family? Then follow up. It will be nice
  hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here.. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive them.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless?  Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and  let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If  you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one   who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one.. There are individuals and whole families in   your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10.   Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions and words that you are one of mine. Forget how much money someone you know has, or doesn't have. Forget about that. It's not your business. Leave off the gossip. Use your mind for something constructive.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court.

And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I Love You, Jesus