In Defense of Impatience...

“Didn’t you learn anything in Italy about patience?” my office colleague asked me after my recent return from a two-week vacation in rural Italy. I was, as usual, demanding deadlines and commitments from my staff at a manager’s meeting.

I thought about that question that night. It’s true that my Italian ancestors have a different pace of living that one could describe as slower. Certainly meals are a leisurely pastime in Italy. But drive on an Italian street or better yet, the autostrada (their freeways)! You’d never describe an Italian driver as patient.

What’s the difference?

When Italians want to get somewhere, they don’t dawdle. Whether by autostrada, or vaporetto boat in Venice, or the subway in Rome, Italians waste no time and have little patience for those who do. But once they reach their destination, they slow their pace and begin a deeper experience.

When I try to create change in my life, that is, when I’m trying to get somewhere, I myself tend to be very impatient. Sometimes I feel like I’m pushing a big object against a heavy wind. But it seems to me that impatience with the pace of progress is the engine that creates the progress. Complacency is the enemy of forward motion. Impatience keeps complacency at bay. This is a good thing.

On the other hand, my impatience sometimes enters into my personal relationships, and that’s where my travel lessons will come in handy. When I had the attention of my Italian relatives during our recent visit, I had their entire attention. We talked over dinner for hours, and they made my mother and I the center of attention the whole meal. We felt welcomed and included despite the language challenges.

My lesson?

Be impatient with progress, but not people. Don’t let your focus on moving forward blind you to the people you travel with. They are, after all, the point of your journey.

So, I guess the answer to my friend’s question is “yes,” after all. I have learned something from my recent vacation. I’ve learned that there is a place for impatience and pushing, but there’s also a place for stopping and listening. As with so many things, it’s all a matter of balance.

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