The Joy of Doing...

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

The old proverb of “be careful what you wish for” has really proven true for me.  My recent promotion has me working harder than I ever imagined and still facing the possibility that I may not succeed.  When I first considered this opportunity, my stomach did a little flip of nervousness.  Yep, it would clearly be outside my comfort zone.

But throughout my life, that little stomach flip which signals the first steps outside the familiar has been a reliable guide to the best choices in my life.  I’ve discovered that, for me, that little fillip of fear says I’m stretching, trying something new for me.  And each one of those choices has led to major positive growth in my life.  Sometimes you have to be scared to go forward. Change can be scary.  There’s nothing wrong with a little fear…unless you let it get between you and your dream.

But what I really wanted to write about is a recent discovery made by one of my clients. See, Say, Do principles say that once you’ve visualized all your possibilities, chosen your path and clearly articulated it, you then have to do something. Some describe it as acting like it’s already true. However you describe it, at some point you have to act.

My client Ben learned how that works in his own life, and I was gratified to see the See, Say, Do principles demonstrated again.  Ben is working to build his private practice. Since he graduated from school and got his license, he’d been working out of his house, seeing clients in his home office.  But growing his practice was a struggle for Ben. He wasn’t satisfied with the slow pace of growth, and the low fees he was generating.  He was still living mostly off his savings, and getting really worried about whether he would have to rethink the idea of being in private practice.

Then Ben came to me for help making a decision.  He’d come across an office for rent in a good neighborhood, and for a really reasonable rate. It was just the right size with lots of windows. After visiting the office with him, I had to agree that it was perfect. His problem?  He wasn’t sure he could make the commitment to the regular rent payment.

We broke it down.  How many clients would he need on a regular basis at what hourly rate to cover the rent? The answer was “more clients than he had.” At first glance, it appeared he couldn’t swing the deal.  But he didn’t want to give up.  So we talked about it some more. He didn’t have a full client load, so he wouldn’t be using the office every day. That was part of the problem.  But perhaps it could be part of the solution instead.

Realizing that many people trying to build a new practice were in the same position as Ben, we considered the possibility of renting the office out on his days with no clients.  No deposits, no commitments longer than a month.  That way, as Ben’s client list grew, he could gradually reclaim more of his office time.

At last, despite some misgivings, Ben decided to take the plunge and signed the rental agreement and dipped into his savings yet again for the deposit he was required to make. He promptly placed ads on craigslist and bulletin boards at his former school.  Amazingly, within days he got a call from another practitioner looking for part-time office space, Ben made his first deal, and settled in to building his practice.

Now here’s where it gets interesting.  Ben didn’t change his advertising budget or strategy, though we discussed it.  He sent out an announcement about the new office to his email list.  He ordered business cards with his new office address and started handing them out everywhere he went. Within three weeks, he had added three clients to his practice, all at higher rates than his existing clients. He doesn’t fill his office fill time yet, but he will soon.

What happened? A scary rental agreement and some business cards.  Not much right?  The real change, though, was in Ben’s head.  For Ben, getting an office made his business real to him! As a result, his new enthusiasm and confidence generated new business.  Ben felt more like a businessman, and his practice showed the difference.  Having a physical focus for his business created the business for real in his head, and the physical world followed his lead.

You can’t truly make revolutionary choices in your life until you’ve explored your choices.  Once you’ve made your choice, you need to think about it and fully clothe the idea or dream until you know all its smallest details.  But seeing and saying your dream isn’t everything.  No matter how small the effort, you’ve got to do something.  Something.  Not necessarily something big, just something.

Despite all Ben’s plans to revamp his marketing strategies, to create a great web site, and to begin publishing a newsletter or blog, Ben turned made the difference without any of those things.  He moved his practice from his home office to a small rented office.  One small do turned the corner for Ben.

When the time comes, don’t stop just because what you’re doing is a little scary and don’t stop just because it doesn’t seem enough. It’s the doing that matters. 

Ask Ben.

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

Avoiding discouragement....

(www.ManifestationCoaching.com)

It’s been a long time since I’ve updated my blog, and I hope you won’t think I’ve lost interest.  I’ve been really busy since the beginning of the year because I’ve been promoted to the head of our District’s human resources division.  I work in the public sector where career advancement can seem glacial compared to the private for-profit employers where I’ve spent most of my working life.  I’ve been there six years already, and finally am moving up.  But it’s a place where people make careers and don’t want to leave.  (I hope as head of HR to continue that tradition.)  And realistically, as you rise within an organization, the opportunities become fewer as you funnel your way to the top.

When I mentioned to a friend that I was officially “the boss” now, she said “Wow, that took forever.  Weren’t you discouraged?” And upon reflection, I realized that despite setbacks, I had simply refused to become discouraged.  That got me thinking. How did I do that?  When I was younger, I couldn’t just refuse to get discouraged.  I remember feeling discouraged and depressed and defeated.  So how did I get to this place of power; the power to refuse to accept discouragement?

Admittedly, some of the progress must be attributed to my increased age.  There’s nothing like a little time behind the wheel to give you a better sense of yourself and the world around you.  But that’s only a little help.  More importantly, I finally learned a few lessons.  Lessons that can be learned at any age, and the earlier the better.

Discouragement:  

 1. to deprive of the will to persist in something 

 2. to inhibit; prevent: this solution discourages rust  

3. to oppose by expressing disapproval
  

No matter how well-intentioned and detailed our resolutions may be, most of us will stop pursuing them before we get to our goal.  Why?  What is the powerful enemy to our achievement?  In a single word: discouragement.  It robs us of our destiny. 

The foundational principle of See, Say, Do is that you have the power to make change in your life.  That you don’t have to wait for some charitable soul to come along and rescue you.  But if you have the power to make change, you also have the power to block it.  And that’s what is really happening when we allow ourselves to become discouraged.  So what is discouragement, and how can we avoid it? 

Deprive the Will to Persist...

Here’s the only place in my See, Say, Do principles that depends on willpower.  The will to persist. Sometimes, when the will to persist vanishes, we know that we didn’t really want what we were pursuing.  But when you are chasing your life’s dream, you can’t stop with every little setback.  You have to keep going.  So why do we stop?  Most people’s reasons boil down to one simple thing…we stop believing it’s possible to achieve the dream.  Few people can be satisfied chasing the impossible dream for long.

Too often we assume that everything will happen according to our own timetable.  But that can be a challenge if there are others involved.  For example, if you're working on a team project, your timetable isn't the only one to consider.  Others have demands and priorities and you'll all have to fit together to get the task accomplished.  Or, you may feel that you're fully ready and prepared for the new challenge, but you may be incorrect. Or maybe you underestimated how long completion will take.  No matter what the cause, the first challenge comes when change doesn't occur when we expect it. 

We assume that this means we are failing.  Then what happens?  We lose faith in ourselves.  Losing faith means we can't see any reason to continue.  We lose the will to persist.

The solution?  Insist.  Insist on believing you can achieve. Insist on continuing the chase.  Accept that sometimes progress will be quicker than other times, and that occasionally there may even be setbacks.  But insist on continuing, no matter what tries to hold you back. 

To Inhibit... 

Have you ever heard yourself say something like: "I couldn't do that, that's just not for me."  Or "I can't do it that way."  Or worse, "I can't do it until/unless [fill in blank]."  Each of these phrases is a life inhibiter.  Each takes the abundant universe and carves away its most precious gifts.  Say those things, or anything like them, and you cut out a wide swath of potential choices and strategies.  Why?  Because you place burdens on your choices even before you can consider them. 

There's an old folk tale involving a storekeeper and two villagers.  The storekeeper needed to get some supplies to the next village.  He offered a small sum to the first villager to take the load.  The first villager looked at the load and thought "that's way too heavy to carry to the next village no matter what he pays!"  He declined the job.  The storekeeper made the same offer to a second villager.  The second one looked at the load and asked himself "how can I get that load delivered since its obviously too heavy to carry?"  Once the question was asked, the answer was obvious. 

The second villager bargained for a slightly higher sum, and used the difference to rent a pack mule for the journey. 

The first villager lost the opportunity because he was caught in life inhibiting thoughts.

Another example:  A recent client complained that he didn’t have enough time for his family.  When we looked at his normal schedule, it was filled with work, gym, sports events with the guys, business dinners, even self-improvement classes, but little of it was dedicated to his family. 

When we discussed the packed schedule, my client had strong justifications for each appointment.  There was a reason why he needed to keep each and every one of those appointments.  But each one was a blocker, an inhibitor, to reaching the goal my client said he wanted.  Each of those appointments took away time that could have been spent with family.

 After initial resistance, my client finally was able to see how everything was connected, and developed a new understanding of the relative importance of his schedule.  He was able finally to attach the proper importance to different events and meetings and make more time for his family. 

To Oppose...

On my web site, I discuss that many people will seem to take delight in assuring you of your ultimate failure and therefore foolishness to try and make positive change in your life.  From well-intentioned parents who wish you’d get a real job, to an otherwise loving spouse who fears you are over-reaching yourself.  And of course, the jealous co-worker who envies anything someone else has.   

Each of those can waylay your progress until you learn how to deal with them.  But the most powerful distraction from your dreams is you.

You would never actually oppose yourself would you?  Seems like a silly question.  But how often have you feared that you weren't good enough, or good looking enough, or smart enough, or whatever enough?  It all comes down to deserving.  Do you feel you deserve your goal?  Do you know you deserve your goal?  Do you accept yourself and your limitations as valuable and worthwhile?  They are, of course.  No, you're not perfect, but no one else is either.  

Once you've learned to accept and cherish yourself, weaknesses and all, you will stop opposing your own progress.  Then you can focus on dealing with external opposition.

When Willpower Isn't Enough...

It's coming.  The new year is a traditional time to take stock of ourselves, set some resolutions to do better, and inevitably slide into failure and depression as we break each resolution, one by one!  Maybe that's because we depend on willpower to keep our resolutions.  This article from the NY Times suggests that planning for keep yourself motivated and rewarded will outperform willpower every time.

Building On Your Personal Strengths | Lifescript.com

Building On Your Personal Strengths | Lifescript.com

Here's an interesting article to help you focus on your strengths today.

Happy Thanksgiving...

Today, Americans celebrate Thanksgiving Day, a day to remember and be grateful for all the good things in our lives.  As a fan of this page, you're likely a problem-solver personality.  Problems solvers tend to focus on, what else, problems.  But sometimes this focus can skew your view.  You don't have to be an American to stop and appreciate what works well in your life, and the good things about you.  For today, think about the good stuff you have going for you, and be thankful.  After all, gratitude is the engine of an abundant universe.

Making the Move…

Studies show that as many as 55% of Americans are unhappy with their current job and thinking about changing to another. Are you one of them? Perhaps you’re one of those people who are thinking about making a big move. In today’s challenging economy, a job change can be a big deal. Finding the opportunity is the first challenge, but don’t underestimate the issues of fitting into a new environment. Sometimes, it may make more sense to work on the job opportunities where you are currently situated.

Taking some classes, perhaps achieving a degree, or even improving your communication skills – all can help you advance and succeed even in your current job. Old professions are withering away and new fields are being created every day. To stay up with the changes, you need to know your goals and your marketability perfectly.

So how do you know when it’s really time to move on? Here’s a little self-assessment to assist you in making your decision. There are no right or wrong answers, just interesting ones.

Part One – Are You Really Ready

1. Are you making a decision based on impulse or careful reflection?

So you’re thinking about moving…to a new job (or maybe a new house, or even a new city). Is this a decision you’ve made on the spur of the moment or have you been giving it a lot of thought? Studies show that people who think a lot about what they are looking for before making major changes come closer to reaching what they sought than those who made changes without much thought beforehand.

If you’ve been thinking about a new job for a long time, gathering your skills and abilities and maximizing your resume for best “curb appeal,” you’re probably ready to go. But if this is a new idea, perhaps it’s best to roll it around for a little while longer. Give some real thought to how you’ll feel in a totally new and unfamiliar environment. What is irritating you today at your current job might be nothing compared to how tough a new job could be.

2. Have you had a conflict situation which makes you temporarily angry enough to leave?       

Never make decisions based on anger. It clouds your judgment and obstructs good decision making. If something has occurred at work that’s made you angry, first and foremost, cool off. Then think about what happened. Could better handling on your part have avoided the situation? Are you totally satisfied that you were not partly responsible? Great leaders recognize when they’ve made a mistake, and are never afraid to take responsibility. We’re all only human after all. A simply apology can remedy some of the most serious situations.

But if the situation was not your fault, and is truly unfixable and intolerable, don’t just quit. You put yourself at a disadvantage and in this economy you might never recover. You’ll almost certainly be tempted to take the first job that comes along rather than a truly better one. Instead, begin doing your research and making your transition plan and fly low. When the time is right, you’ll spring free to a steady platform of a great new job.

3. Do you feel a sense of urgency to make a move?

Is a new job something you daydream about when you’re bore, or do you feel a daily pressure to make a move? Does your stomach twist up in knots every morning as you travel to work? Or maybe you’re just convinced that there’s something better for you out there.     It might seem a little backward, but while a sense of urgency can help by getting you into action for your job hunt, it can also cause you to move faster or with less preparation that is best for you.

4. Are you looking for a way for your employer to finally recognize you and your hard work?

We all want the recognition we’ve earned. But few employers will appreciate you leaving. If recognition is what you seek, a job change may not be the answer. Studies show that most people don’t recognize what isn’t put in front of them. If you’re accomplishments are routinely overlooked, perhaps it’s because you haven’t learned how to properly illuminate them. Some people call it marketing; I call it shining light on the things you’re proud of.

5. Do you feel that giving your employer a shock by resigning might get them to see things your way?

Forget it. In this labor market, you’re more likely to give them a chance to replace you for less money that you make now. Don’t use ultimatums or threats of resignation to get your way. If logic or merit won’t make the case, little else will be more effective. Instead, check yourself. The impulse to “show them” may be powerful, but a better solution is to reevaluate your proposal and see better understand why it’s being rejected. And realize that even the biggest executives don’t get their way all the time. If not this time, perhaps next time will be yours.

6. Have you exhausted all options for advancement where you are presently?

OK, so you want career growth. That’s a good thing. But have you really looked at where you are now? Most people overlook all kinds of resources and opportunities available at their current jobs, assuming they’re irretrievably stalled. But perhaps volunteering for a tough project will demonstrate your abilities where you are now. Seek a mentor; ask others how they entered their fields. Have you actually applied for other jobs at your company? Have you spoken to someone in human resources? Be sure you’re company is a dead end before you write it off your list.

A lot of time - the employer's and the candidate's- can be wasted in interviewing  a person  who really isn't ready or serious about making a move, and who is only going through the motions to get a better deal where they are, presently. Please be sure that you have weighed both the pros and cons of leaving and that you have made up your mind to do so.
But once you’ve decided you’re going to make the move, make sure you’re as prepared as possible. The first task is to examine you the way a potential employer will see you. Then make sure the picture is as attractive and compelling as possible.

Part 2 - Taking Inventory

1. Know yourself - your strengths and weaknesses, both professionally and personally.

Name your three top strengths. How do they relate to the positions you’re seeking? What are your greatest challenges and what strategies are you using to overcome them? Remember, this is a job interview. If your strengths don’t relate to the opportunity, an employer won’t be impressed.

2. Where do you shine and where do you need to improve your skills/abilities?

When you look at yourself and your resume as if you were the recruiter instead of the job seeker, how do you rate yourself? Be brutally honest. Those things that most impress the recruiter should be polished and detailed. Look for things that can be improved. Where you are weakest, fix it or deemphasize.

3. How do you define your value and your worth to your employer?

What would you tell an employer to demonstrate that hiring you is a smart decision? What benefits did you bring your current employer? What projects did you successfully lead or how did you improve the work you do now? Employers like specific examples.

4. How effective a communicator are you?

What are your strengths as a communicator? How are your interview skills? This is one area where practice definitely makes a difference. If you get tongue tied, or speak smoothly? Consider taking a class at a local community college or other venue.

5. How effective a listener are you?

The most interesting people are usually the best listeners. Even in a job interview, or perhaps especially in a job interview, good listening is critical. To give the best answers, you need to hear and truly understand the questions. By listening with all your senses – reading body posture, hearing tone as well as words – you will understand the context of the question and give the best answer.

6. How do you react in handling problems and finding solutions?

What’s your problem style? Are you the calm and collected one, or do you get crazed? Understanding how you react to problems provides valuable information on the kind of job you should consider. Every job has problems, but some require immediate answers and some allow time for critical thought. Be sure you know which is best for you.

7. Success means different things to different people - what does it mean to you?

If you’re not clear about your goal, you’ll have trouble knowing how to get there or even if you’ve reached it. Besides a new job, what are you really seeking? Better to get it clear in your mind now, instead of finding out at your new job that it wasn’t what you really wanted.

8. What do you derive the greatest personal satisfaction from in your work?

Is it solving problems? Being creative? The only way to make your work more satisfying it to spend some time thinking about what satisfies you.

9. Determine what is most important to you in making a move and in what order:
Advancement, recognition, security, money, benefits.

Once you’re sure it’s time for a change, you need to begin a campaign as deliberate as any marketing campaign. Rank the things you are looking for from your new job, and ruthless pare off any opportunity that doesn’t meet your specifications.

10. What sort of company appeals to you - Large, medium, small, start-up?

Each size has its benefits and disadvantages. It’s easier to be noticed in a smaller company, but often hard to move up because there are fewer opportunities. Larger companies offer greater opportunities, but it’s often harder to get them and easier to be lost in the sea of employees. People who are excited by a start-up can find themselves bored to tears in an established company.

11. What degree of risk are you prepared to take to progress in your career?

Sometimes an opportunity doesn’t bring financial increase with it, or might even require a reduction in salary. If you’re thinking about changing careers, it’s likely that you may initially lose some financial ground. You are banking on your ability to establish yourself quickly in the new field, and advance rapidly.
If you’re headed to a start-up, you need to balance the potential financial rewards with the risk of the business not continuing. Not all start-ups are successful.

12. How well do you handle uncertainty and change?

Some people thrive on uncertainty and constant change. Other people loathe anything not stable and predictable. Know where you fit. If change is difficult for you, be careful making too great a change all at once and becoming overwhelmed. If you get bored easily, don’t tie yourself down in a position that’s too routine and predictable. Consider the same factors when selecting potential organizations to offer your services to.

13. What compromises/sacrifices are you willing to make to progress in your career?

Most great opportunities come with a price tag. Getting an education these days costs as much as a small house. A career that includes travel means time away from friends and family. Many of us find that we’ve made unintentional sacrifices only by looking back. Better to consider up front how important your career is, and how it will fit in with your other priorities. There are times when career must come first, and times when for many people, it comes second to other priorities. Each of us is unique. What’s important is that we know ourselves.

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

300!

I reached 300 fans today on my Facebook page.   I am especially thankful for those of my fans who are referring me to their friends.  Keep it up, and in celebration, here's a weekend brain squeeze.  Click the pic, print it and go for it.