A Little Forethought…

The recent tragedy in Haiti underscores the necessity to be prepared for disaster whether you think you’re vulnerable or not.

Have a Family Plan. Experts agree that there are several very simple steps to prepare yourself and your family for any kind of disaster. First of all, have a family plan. Know where you're going to meet. Know who is to call whom.

This link will give you more information about all the steps involved in creating a family emergency plan for a variety of risks. Think seriously about doing it. There are tools to assist you in assessing your emergency needs here.  These are the type of things that only take value when you need them – and God willing you never do. Nevertheless, all the time invested in creating your family plan will be time well spent.


Backup your data. With more and more family information becoming digitized it's important to have a data backup plan, both on-site and off. These days with MP3 downloads and subscription music and digital cameras and digital video cameras, almost everything that is important to us now is digital. All the more reason to be absolutely sure that your data is safe. It's important obviously to have on-site backup; in case any of your machines should have any kind of hiccup you want ready access to your data so that important data isn’t lost.

But what happens in the case of a house fire or a flood? Your network drive holding backups of all your music and photos and most important documents – all could end up in the fire and just a big puddle of plastic. That's when off-site backup storage becomes critical. There are several vendors, who offer everything from low-cost limited to reasonably priced unlimited storage. Software for these vendors typically operate in the background over your internet connection, so they’re ideal for use with always-on broadband.  When your computer isn’t busy, the utility will keep your online storage areas synchronized with the data in your computer. This kind of off-site storage is doubly valuable should you lose your machine or should there be a disaster at your home.  Either way you're always protected.

I haven’t forgotten those who haven’t adopted the computer. And even if you scan all your documents for filing, some things must be retained in their original paper form. A strong fireproof safe is a given for all those important papers that you aren’t storing in your safe deposit box.
 

Safely store your precious items. I'm a collector. I have a lot of vintage fountain pens worth a fair amount.  In addition to the money value of the pens, the time that it took to find them and collect them at the right price is significant as well. In fact of all of my possessions I would say my fountain pen collection is one of the most valuable. Of course it's not the only thing. I have a number of possessions that have enormous emotional value as well. If you're the same way, ask yourself what happens when the police or fire department comes to your door and tells you that there is a mandatory evacuation order in place. What do you grab first? What can you carry? If you are asking yourself those questions for the first time when you receive an evacuation order you've waited way too long.

Think about what's most important to you and make a list. Know which items you would bring in an emergency and know in descending order of importance starting with the most important first.  If you're limited to just a few things, you know which few things are absolutely the most important. Additionally it makes good sense to store those things nearby each other if possible. That way you don't spend a lot of time gathering them all up in the instance of an emergency.

My pens are stored all in the same place, mostly binders and small portable cabinets.  If necessary, I can get all of them and my little dog at the same time.

Make movies. Any insurance company will tell you that the best way to document your possessions is to take photographs and videos.  These days the best way is to make a video walk-through of your home.  Describe what you see, point the camera and make close-ups.  Pay special attention to panels that show serial numbers, model numbers, and other significant information.  The Insurance Information Institute (iii.org) offers free online home inventory software.  The “Know Your Stuff” software is easy to use and allows you to record items by room, purchase price, date purchased, serial number information and allows you to upload photos.

Emergency supplies. We are constantly told that in the event of a serious emergency we should be prepared to be on our own for up to three days or more. Watching Haiti today, and New Orleans in the past, it should be clear to us that in the case of an unexpected emergency it will take time for authorities to reach us and bring assistance. In that time you need to be prepared to be on your own. You need to be prepared that your water supply will be compromised. You need to be prepared that looting will have emptied stores around you. That means if you're realistic about the situation, you need your own food and water to last you up to a week.
Various companies now offer nutritious, good tasting, packaged foods designed for campers, hikers, hunters, and those seeking long term storage in case of emergency.  If you don’t want to take the time to plan your food storage, eFoods Direct offers food packages by how long you need to support yourself, from one week to a year.

A more traditional retailer, Emergency Essentials offers food, recipes, storage supplies, and equipment.

Prep your home. Where you live will determine the most likely natural disaster for which you should be prepared. I live in Los Angeles, and therefore we always expect the " big one," the big earthquake. Preparing our home for earthquake safety meant being sure the home is bolted to its foundation, that anti-sheer walls are applied in the basement so the home won't wobble itself to death. It also means that we know where our gas main is so that we can turn it off in the event of an emergency.

If you live in a flood plain, then water will be your nemesis. You need to be sure that you know where water is likely to gather, knowing the topography of the land around it. Use a sensible everyday storage plan.  Don’t store your most precious items in the basement.

If anyone in your home is disabled or is physically or mentally challenged, your emergency needs will be even more specific and preparation more important.  Here are tips for dealing with all kinds of disabilities and emergencies.

Be prepared for anything, and nothing can defeat you.  In the end, you simply cannot predict what will happen in the future.  If you are fortunate, all your preparations will be unnecessary.  If you are less fortunate and disaster strikes, your preparation can assure that the only things lost are those most easily replaced.

http://www.manifestationcoaching.com/

Long-Term Couples

Long term couples face a myriad of challenges, not the least of which is a dearth of real information on long term couples.  As part of a couple for almost 30 years now, I know personally how the relationship can change and morph over the decades and various kinds of problems rear their ugly heads.  My partner Micheal (yes, another one) and I were in our early 20’s when we met.  As a friend recently pointed out to me, we actually grew up together.  Growing up is a messy business.

My mother and father were married even earlier, but their marriage lasted only 21 years.  They had difficulties and could not continue.

Over the last decade or so, research is surfacing about long term couples, and its kind of surprising.  One researcher debunks the myths that “arguing equals trouble,” and “opposites attract” among others.  He says that none of the myths apply if the couple can generate and maintain (or simply remember) positive emotions from their partner.  If you have a sufficient “bank account” of positive interactions as a couple, he says, you can weather almost any emotional storm. 

But if your relationship is made up of mostly negative emotions, you’re cruising toward separation, either emotionally or physically or both.  Seems self-evident, but over the course of a long term relationship, habits develop without us noticing.

One habit we tend toward is monogamy.  Traditionally, the reputation of same-sex couples is that they are not monogamous.  Some studies have shown that up to two-thirds of long term same-sex couples are not monogamous.  But for those couples, what does that mean?  There’s a lot of opposite-sex couples who aren’t monogamous either – we call that having an affair.

Well, two researchers have solicited and surveyed 86 long term non-monogamous same-sex couples about the impact of their non-monogamy.  The study seems to indicate that of those who participated, 75% described “solely positive impact.”  From my reading though, the primary positive impact is  that 78% said “being open [about outside sex] gave them a sexual outlet without having to lie…”  Personally, I think the study is skewed by self-selection of the participants but the results are interesting nonetheless.

John Gray, author of MEN ARE FROM MARS, WOMEN ARE FROM VENUS, says there are five traits of long-term loving couples, and the first is “communicate, communicate, communicate.”

In this cynical live-together world of romance today, you might be surprised that long-term couples are still getting married.  Yes, actually married, after years of unwedded bliss, Anna Carey reports.

If you are in a long term opposite-sex relationship, you can participate in important couples research by joining this study out of Stonybrook University.  Another couples study for couples of all genders comes out of Southern Methodist University.

Whatever your genders, if you’re in a long term couple, you know the challenges and rewards that come from it.  You can’t make problems just disappear, but you can create more of the cement that holds you together in the face of those problems.  As this new year approaches, let’s commit to creating more positive emotional experiences with our partners.  Let’s not rely on happenstance, let’s actually go out and create those experiences deliberately. 

Happy New Year!

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

Letter About Christmas

Normally, I detest chain emails.  Though I almost always am drawn to read them, I still find them an annoying waste of time.  But this email, below, is a little different.  It’s not complaining, and its not cynical.  I share it here in hopes that you and yours will have a wonderful Christmas and New Year, and any other holiday you celebrate!

Letter from Jesus about Christmas --

Dear Children,

It has  come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out  of the season. Maybe you've forgotten that I wasn't actually born during this time of the year and that it was some of your predecessors who decided to celebrate My birthday on what was actually a time of pagan festival. . .  although I do appreciate being remembered anytime.

How I personally  feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just GET ALONG AND LOVE ONE  ANOTHER.

Now, having said that, let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on  your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8. 

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of  My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday   is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from   home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. Not just during Christmas time, but all through the year. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3.  Instead of writing the president complaining about the wording on the   cards his staff sends out this year, why don't you write and tell him that   you'll be praying for him and his family? Then follow up. It will be nice
  hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here.. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive them.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless?  Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and  let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If  you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one   who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one.. There are individuals and whole families in   your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to the Salvation Army or some other charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10.   Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions and words that you are one of mine. Forget how much money someone you know has, or doesn't have. Forget about that. It's not your business. Leave off the gossip. Use your mind for something constructive.

Don't forget; I am God and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court.

And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember :

I Love You, Jesus

Unemployment and Depression

Record levels of unemployment continue to plague America. More and more individuals are finding that their job search is taking far longer than they could have ever imagined. The stock market continues to vacillate with each passing day and every bit of new information. Financial markets seem to be on the upswing and some analysts say the end of the recession is in sight, yet employment continues to lose ground.

If you, or a friend, are currently experiencing unemployment, you know that one of the major dangers of prolonged unemployment is emotional depression. Today to make it worse, many of the unemployed are people who are simply not accustomed to being unemployed. They are people who have held jobs for as long as they can remember, and are unemployed through no fault of their own. Yet despite their most diligent efforts, very little opportunity is presenting itself.

It's no wonder that more and more of these job seekers are simply dropping out of the job market full of discouragement and depression. It's no wonder that they begin to question their own abilities. They begin to question themselves at their most fundamental level, because as we know, in American society we are what we do.

Are you one of those people, or do you know one of those people? iVillage.com has a quick quiz to find out whether or not you're suffering from unemployment depression. Click the link to find out.

This isn't a column about how to search for a job; I'll save that for later. Today I'm writing about how to keep from becoming so depressed you can't do the things you need to do to find a job. So if you took the quiz and scored that you were bad or even slightly bad because of unemployment, you need to think about what to do to keep from becoming more depressed or perhaps even to pull yourself out of it. It certainly sounds easier than it is, I know that.

But sometimes the simplest solutions are the most effective. Esther November in her column entitled "Unemployment Depression" has five suggestions of things to do to keep yourself from being too preoccupied with being unemployed. "Avoiding the unemployment blues" as she says. Mostly her ideas, and those of other experts, center around focusing on activities other than your job search. It's all too easy, when times get rough, to get focused too intensely on your job search and make yourself crazy.

For some people, it's more than simply feeling bad. Prolonged unemployment for some people can be a long and downhill road to clinical depression. Clinical depression can have physical symptoms as well as emotional symptoms. If you know someone clinically depressed it's important that you encourage them to seek professional assistance from a psychotherapist. Click here for a more formal questionnaire about clinical depression and resources for psychotherapy.

More important than anything else, all experts agree, is to not become discouraged. One way to keep your courage and your spirits up is not to be alone. In addition to reaching out to family and friends as November suggests, many people are finding job clubs, or other types of support groups, to be invaluable. The clubs and groups are helping them avoid the isolation that can come with prolonged unemployment and to maintain their enthusiasm and motivation for their job search and their life in general. Click here to learn more.

If you know someone who's experiencing prolonged unemployment, perhaps for the first time in their life, the best way to be a friend is to keep them occupied in activities that distract them from the difficulties of their job search. By all means support their search efforts, but do your part to provide the other side of the picture to help keep them sane.

If you your self are in danger of succumbing to depression while being unemployed, make your best efforts not to be alone. Whether by support group or by the company of your friends, keep yourself sane. And don't forget a personal coach can keep you motivated, too busy to be depressed, and assist you with your job search strategies.

http://www.manifestationcoaching.com/

Get Thee to a Credit Union

I've gotten so frustrated listening to news stories about banks jacking up interest rates on even their good credit card customers. Even though they got a lot of free money from taxpayers, it's still not enough. Apparently they are trying to get a jump on customers and on legislation that will regulate how they can raise interest rates, and while they can, they're raping their current customers.

This is serious stuff. Banks these days are making tons of profits. They won't let that go willingly and they're desperate. That's why when I hear these stories, I get so frustrated. Hasn't anyone ever heard of a credit union? My mom was a state employee and belonged to the massive state employees' credit union. So I am familiar with credit unions from an early age. To me, they are common. Maybe not to others.

I am certain that the answer to letting the banks pillage you is to give your business to a reputable credit union. I don't hear in the news about credit unions jacking their members, just banks jacking their customers. Note that I said "members" for credit unions, not customers. Therein lays the main and most important difference between a bank and credit union.

Imagine my delight, when I went seeking data to support my opinion, to find it all waiting for me. Someone had actually written a long report on credit unions generally. What caught my eye was their article on credit unions and credit cards; it validated my beliefs. On all important measures, getting your credit cards from a credit union is a no-brainer decision. Interest rates are dramatically lower, penalties are lower, and customer service is better. Since this article was written, credit unions make even more sense.

One area of improvement is in services. Most major credit unions today offer online bill paying and home mortgages, car loans to home equity loans. So stop being a victim. Even though traditionally it was difficult to join a credit union, it's easier than ever to find a credit union.

I strongly encourage joining a credit union and giving them your business. Why support predatory and dishonest behavior in banks even now. Show them how the free market works; take your money elsewhere.

Keeping the Family Afloat in Financial Storms

With rising unemployment and under-employment, family finances are becoming more and more of a challenge. And problem finances can create all kinds of other family problems. But there are ways to deal with family finances head one, without avoiding the painful reality. The first and most important thing to face is that: odds are you're not in as bad financial shape as you think – the problem is probably your attitude about money. Auburn University found that only a small percent of the couples reporting money problems actually had inadequate income. There are ways to change your thinking about money.

Family Meetings. Good family communication starts with the family getting together on a regular basis. Once you've got your family meetings going, you can introduce the family budget as a meeting topic. Manda Turetsky gives us great hints about how to best use family meetings for family budget planning, including measurable goals and priority setting. It's important not to shield family from the realities of life. Hiding creates shame. If you shelter the family from financial realities and responsibilities, you may create the very harm you seek to avoid – more financial problems for them as adults.

Stay Flexible. When trouble hits, Rosemary Lichtman says "stay flexible." That way, you can adjust to what comes rather than letting it overwhelm you. If you're not the one with the outside job in your home, do you know enough about the family finances to take over if necessary? You should. Here's six helpful tips from Lichtman.

Troubling times can mean opportunities for individuals and families. A coach can help you see outside the limits you perceive, and help you See a new future for yourself and your family.

www.ManifestationCoaching.com

The Problem of Positive Thinking?

Barbara Ehrenreich is nothing if not a controversial author, and her latest book Bright-Sided: How the Relentless Promotion of Positive Thinking Has Undermined America takes on our most cherished modern possession: our unlimited (she would say unwarranted) optimism. From preachers telling us God wants to give us success, to professionals in medicine and psychology teaching that we can cure ourselves if we only will, we are constantly told to think positive. In many ways Barbara blames all these happy talkers for our current financial difficulties. According to Barbara, Joel Osteen owes us an apology. As one of the most visible and successful preachers of the contemporary positive thinking movement, he was one of the voices encouraging all of us to keep looking at the bright side, while in reality the housing market couldn't maintain its explosive rise in value, real wages continued to fall, and government regulation gave way to corporate abuse and corruption.

The problem, says Barbara, is that an insistence on positive thinking can grow into a refusal to see things as they are. This has led to middle and lower economic class voters to vote against their interests in favor of the "ruling class" because the power of positive thinking encourages them to assume they can be rich too. She cites Joe the Plumber explaining his opposition to Obama's proposed tax on income of $250,000 or more because when he bought his own business he'd have that income and didn't want to pay more taxes then.

Worse still, this "if you only believe" philosophy makes it easy to blame the victim, who clearly won't get out of their own way. It's a more comfortable world of we can blame the victims for their own misfortune.

You may hear of lot of that kind of happytalk when you work with a coach as well. "Just believe," you'll hear. "The universe is just waiting to fulfill your dreams." You may even think you read that on my web site. But you'd be mistaken. Because dreaming isn't enough. Belief isn't enough. The principles of See, Say, Do require more than mere belief or confidence. Those principles require work and risk and effort. And those principles don't guarantee that you'll always get exactly what you want when you want it. The universe is not a vending machine. You don't just insert a token of belief or affirmation and get dispensed a great life. That would be easy, I'll admit, and I'm sure that's why the philosophy is so popular. But some people are seeking something to believe in and hook themselves up with Secrets and other stuff. Other people are simply seeking a method and technology to make change in their life, not a new religion. In a coach they see a teacher, a trainer, and a motivator, but not a guru.

I guess you can tell that her message resonates with me. Looks like a book I'm going to have to read. You can find this book and others by Barbara (and other interesting and challenging writers) in our web site bookstore. Visit often as we are always adding new material.

www.ManifestationCoaching.com